Good question to ask yourself once and awhile. It also happens to be the only thing my overtaxed mind can come up after a good hour or so sitting here contemplating what I want to write about. I asked myself what is inspiring me to sit here in my love worn sweatpants, grama knitted socks, monkey slippers and ratty tatty hoody and put my thoughts into words for anyone to read? Answer......................... a full pot of coffee, a good dose of boredom and a nagging issue i have yet to fully resolve in my head....................... I need a cathartic cleansing of the soul i think or a decluttering of my psyche (fancy way to say yo i needs to bitch something fierce)
Many may not know this but 3 years ago i was involved in a toxic relationship with a man who literally broke my heart, my spirit, my car and parts of my body. When it finally ended i realized how much of me i had lost thanks to him and became overwhelmed with the depression he left behind. Every bit of confidence and self respect i had prior to meeting him was ruthlessly stolen from me and replaced with doubt, insecurity and self loathing. I really felt like a mere shell of a person, unsure if i would every find the Krissy spark again. Thanks to my sister (yes Kathryn you do know whats best for me, but that doesn't mean i have to like it hahah) and a few good friends i slowly found me again, and not just me but an older wiser more kick ass version of me. Bonus! I found my real voice and have yet to shut the hell up since haha unfortunately it's finding people to listen that becomes a problem.
My journey of self discovery led me to a full understanding of what makes me Krissy. My personality which is made up of 5 very unique people as you can see in the lovely pie chart i made a few minuets ago hahahha
Shmuckle Head Sally is my girly blushing giddy side. She likes shopping for clothes, doing her hair, and talking about boys and mushy stuff. As you can see she rarely comes out and usually isn't allowed to speak unless it's a special occasion or a full moon.
Little Timmy is my inner child. He is the male version of the ADHD mind set i had as a youth. He's responsible for my pretty shiny fun attitude towards the world and all the fun little things that make me giggle.. i.e. pudding cups, blow pens, my squeeze box, my tap shoes, stickers, crazy socks, video games and buttons ( i like to push buttons any type, in fact, i think that's why i bought the car i have now. It has over 30 different buttons to play with, pathetic i know but hey gets me through the day). Little Timmy brings out the kid in everyone i meet which is awesome cause he gets lonely in his ADHD fog haha
Cynical Sam is the realest in my mind. He see's the world and those in it for who and what they are and isn't afraid to say it. Pessimist to the core but wise beyond his years. Some may say it's a bad thing to be so negative, I on the other hand feel it's a necessary survival skill now a days. Sammy boy keeps me grounded and rational even when i don't want to be, which can be frustrating but highly useful in the end.
Ahhhh Nana Goldstein my crazy little Jewish grand ma from Long Island hahaha I guess she represents my nurturing side or whatever. She's the one who controls my heart. She always wants to help others and be there for everyone she cares about. Why she's a little old lady is beyond me, i just know that's the voice i have when I'm changeling her. You know like if a friend comes to me and tells me about a problem my response is " oh come here my little boobalah, we'll figure it out, hug hug you're better then this. Now put a sweater on before you catch a cold ." hahaha She also has the best advice in the world and can cook :)
Sassy Pants Mcgee is the loud crazy fun loving up for anything person i usually let the world see. He's my humor and my silliness with a dash of creativity all rolled up into one blond package. He's also become more of an enemy then an Allie recently. I blame him for what i like to call the Bright and Shiny disease people catch when they first meet me. Because of my outgoing nature people are drawn to me and desire my friendship then after awhile somehow the effects wear off and they forget about me. I'm convinced it's my pheromones but haven't found the scientific evidence to back up my theory .............. yet!................... Any who yeah so Sassy McGee is the part of me most people want to know and be around because they can't understand or simply don't want to understand the other partners in crime he hangs out with in my mixed up mind of awesome hahaha
Well there you have it folks a complete detailed map of my personality. Don't know what this verbal spewage accomplished other then killing some time but hey at least i actually wrote something down. I feel accomplished and content :) and i'm out of coffee.................time to walk away from my computer and rejoin the real world..........tootles
